FUCK YOU.

22.4.05

today there's 10 more.
total count now stands at... 41.

i went to run after i came home. yay!
i ran 4km. i swear! yay!

ok, i went to kap after school and we sat there and talked. talked the afternoon away. and at 5.30pm we were talking about a someone, and how she was having training. but then i forgot that today was friday and she would be near kap. and we were talking about her for quite some time. then, BAM! without warning, maryanne and ravinder went home and saw her onto bus. i was frantic cos i wanted to see her more than anyone at that point of time. she was really all that there was in mind at that time. maybe jealousy kicked in when they saw her and i didnt, therefore in my mind. i was in a rage. ok that was nonsense.

anyway went home. i was in the bus alone. by myself. with tens of thousands of other commuters. i got home and all i wanted to do was to runaway. 3lines down the wrist came first. i ran. i ran. i ran. i ran till i couldn't take it no more. i came back. another 7lines down. OH GOD. WHATEVER GWEN. and now i am here. i tired.

to the girl in the yellow shirt:
i've succumbed to temptations, you make it sound so easy but it's not to me however i try. it's really hard; i don't understand why. Would you help me?

to the girl in the red shirt:
it didn't happen just with a snap of the finger. It didn't happen because of sympathy.
whatever. anyway because you dont care i'll just tell you. all 41 of them are because of you. if you want 70 to match your code. i'll do it. you don't understand how i feel. you never will cos you dont care. It's not about "love" or whatever. i also dont know. all this mixed feelings has gotten to my head. i'm not even thinking right. i am not saying things right.

i love you, but i don't know who are.
i guess i'll just have to let you go.

regret? yeah. i regretted too much that i cant count, regretting 1 more time wouldn't kill now, would it?

When everything you'll get is everything that you've wanted, princess
well which would you prefer
My finger on the trigger, or Me face down, down across your floor
Well just so long as this thing's loaded

I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

If I could be like that, I would Give anything.

but there's still tomorrow
forget the sorrow.

X
10:26 PM